Where are you?
In a non slutty way
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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