just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
