She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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