u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize