The police scanner is talking about you again....
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
