I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
