Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
