ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just had sex on a roof
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
