i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
