I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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