Your mouth is God's brothel.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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