Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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