So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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