I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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