I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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