Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
