:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
