If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
