I accidentally burped into my bong.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
