she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
