when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
