Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
