College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I would ride that face into the sunset
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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