we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
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I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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