how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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