I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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