I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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