Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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