Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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