Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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