Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
