New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
