I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
