party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
