When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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