Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
