PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
