At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
