It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I love you.
Bad choice
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
