I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize