This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
as a side note pls kill me
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
