You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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