Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
