ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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