paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
