Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
