at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
