super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
