so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
