Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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