She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
