I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize