i permit you to call me
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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