This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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