you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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