Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
