So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
