He uses pillows to masturbate.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
