the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize