Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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