Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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